   |
      |
|
|
|
GAY MEN COME OUT IN SUPPORT OF GAY MARRIAGE BAN
|
|
|
|
SAN FRANCISCO, CA – President Bush’s proposed Constitutional amendment banning gay marriage seems to have found support from an unexpected quarter, with a recent Gallup Poll revealing that more than 60 percent of gay men favor a ban on gay marriage.
“We were stunned by the results,” one pollster admitted. “Gay men opposed gay marriage by a larger margin than any other group, even straight men. The inescapable conclusion is that all men, even gay ones, hate commitment.”
“Gay marriage would just take more hot guys off the market,” complained Carson Kressley, star of Queer Eye for the Straight Guy, asserting his support for a ban on gay marriage. “Look what happened to Troy Aikman.”
“San Francisco isn’t famous for it’s wedding chapels,” added Bay City bathhouse mogul Pave B. “The last thing I need is for the Democrats to get all ‘family values’ on me.”
Other gay men opposed marriage for more practical reasons. “I used to favor the idea of gay marriage,” said one gay man who took a short break from folding his summer sweaters to speak with reporters. “But then I realized how hard it would be competing with straight women over the best dresses, china patterns and flower arrangements.”
“Those women are ruthless,” he explained. “If you don’t believe me, log on to ‘The Knot’ sometime. I don’t know how straight guys survive the whole wedding thing.”
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
