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SPAIN SURRENDERS TO AL-QAEDA
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MADRID – Following the terrorist bombings in Madrid last week, Spanish voters rushed to the polls in record numbers, sweeping the Socialist party into power and electing Socialist leader Jose Luis Rodriguez Zapatero as the nation’s new prime minister.
Giving his first policy address since the election, Zapatero vowed to make good on his campaign promise to forestall additional terrorist attacks against Spain by withdrawing Spanish troops from Iraq and by surrendering Spain to Al-Qaeda.
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Incoming Prime Minister Zapatero
concedes that he’s a “major wus”
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"The voters have given me a mandate to surrender
and I have done so," Zapatero explained, nervously
adjusting his new turban as he spoke. "We
will move in with our jealous, angry, abusive new
friend that is Al-Qaeda and hope that we can live
in peace."
U.S. State Department officials reacted with horror
at the news. "The real concern is the
domino effect," said one official. "If
Spain has surrendered to Al-Qaeda, France won’t
last a week."
The only hope at this point according to foreign
policy experts is that Al-Qaeda will refuse Spain's
surrender to avoid the headache of dealing with
the Basque separatists. "Between planning
to blow stuff up and blowing stuff up, we have almost
no extra time," admitted one Al-Qaeda leader
disguised as a Pakistani mountain goat to avoid
detection by U.S. satellites.
"Besides, trying to run a fairly modern country
doesn't fit with our interests or expertise,"
the man explained. "None of us wants
to get stuck going to PTA meetings and stuff if
we can't blow anything up while we're there, I can
tell you that."
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