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STRIPPERS EAGERLY AWAIT BRITNEY’S NEW COSMETIC LINE
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LAS VEGAS, NV – With the announcement that singer Britney Spears will develop a new line of cosmetics for Elizabeth Arden, workers at many of Sin City’s finest strip clubs were said to be almost bursting with excitement.
“I’m soooo happy,” gushed one stripper, er exotic dancer, who insisted that “Bambi” was her real name. “Finally, someone who understands the demanding makeup needs of people in the entertainment and trailer park industries.”
“Oh mi God! Oh mi God! Britney’s my favorite fave!” Bambi’s friend “Candi” bubbled, displaying a level of excitement normally reserved for patrons of the VIP room. “I can’t wait! I’ve been dying for eyeliner that still looks great after Jell-O wrestling.”
Wall Street analysts also applauded Elizabeth Arden’s strategy. “Unless competitors move quickly, Arden will corner the ‘slut’ market,” said Merrill Lynch broker Sam Baker. “If I’m Estee Lauder, I do whatever it takes to sign Christina Aguilera.”
While excited by the positive response, Elizabeth Arden emphasized that Britney appeals to all segments of the population.
“Britney is a talented, fashionable woman who appeals to a young and international consumer base,” claimed Paul West, president of Elizabeth Arden. “In fact, we’ve already received great response from a number of female ranchers just outside Las Vegas who describe themselves as ‘working women.’”
“This shows Britney is more than just a teeny-bopper. She resonates with professional woman as well as strippers and transvestites who go heavy on the eye makeup.”
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