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LAW FIRM SUMMER CLERK PROGRAMS RUINED BY ‘TUCKER MAX WANNABES’
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DURHAM, NC – In an unusual story from the typically staid world of corporate law firms, senior partners at a number of large firms report that their summer clerk programs – designed to give top candidates a chance to earn jobs with the firms after graduation – have been ruined by so-called “Tucker Max wannabes.”
Rather than working to impress partners and earn a job after graduation, these Tucker Max wannabes seek only to engage in conduct that will give them the best story about being fired from their summer clerkship. One shocking report comes from Ellis Cappers, a senior partner at a large law firm not far from Tucker Max’s former law school at Duke University.
Cappers described returning from court one Tuesday afternoon to find a summer clerk naked on his desk receiving fellatio from the wife of another senior partner. “The summer clerk knew I would be back from court then,” Cappers said. “He was supposed to be in Court with me, but earlier that afternoon he told me ‘he was still buzzed from last night.’”
Beginning to shake with rage, Cappers recounted how the summer clerk showed no sign of alarm when Cappers appeared in the office door. “Instead”, Cappers said, his voice quivering, “the clerk said ‘hang on a minute, she’s almost done,’ then he did a Jaeger shot.”
“When I came back after getting security, the clerk had left, but not before the bastard outlined his ass print on my desk and signed it with indelible marker.”
“I think he’s also the one who set my credenza on fire,” Cappers added.
“I told our personnel director to fire the clerk that day,” Cappers explained. “But when she went to the clerk’s office, he told her to wait a second before speaking because he needed to finish his ‘after sex cigarette.’”
“This is a no-smoking office,” Cappers explained.
“Even that wasn’t the end of it, though,” Cappers continued, “the clerk started a web site telling the so-called ‘hilarious story’ of his firing, saying he had ‘a better story than Tucker Max.’ On the web site, the clerk does say he ‘changed all the names to protect the innocent,’ but I ask you, is calling me ‘Crappers’ really a name change to protect me? That kid is damn child. Doesn’t he realize he’ll never be a great lawyer acting like that?”
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