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NOW THAT ECONOMY IS REBOUNDING, BUSH TAKES CREDIT
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WASHINGTON – President Bush finally took responsibility for the economy today, dispelling any question over who deserved credit for the recent economic upturn.
“I’ve been baffled,” the President admitted to no one’s surprise. White House journalists were surprised, however, when the President continued speaking.
“How can there be any confusion over who’s responsible for America’s current economic situation? The fact that I blamed liberal Democrats for the mess we’ve been in the past three years doesn’t change anything. I still blame them
for that. But I’m responsible for the fact the economy is rolling now!”
“Supply-side economics is working once again, just like it did for Ronald Reagan and my father,” Bush continued. “Now I know you media-types are going to say ‘but the deficit is way up again.’ Well hold on a minute.”
“Supply-side economics doesn’t create budget deficits. Its been proven that, the more you drop taxes, the more tax revenues rise. And if you don’t believe me, go ask any of the unaccredited economics professors I’ve appointed to guide America’s economic policy.”
“Here, I’ll give you an quick example,” Bush exclaimed while an aide hurriedly took out a magic marker and drew a jagged, rising line on the palm of the President’s hand. “See this graph right here,” the President said holding up his hand. “It shows that the more I lower taxes on the rich, the more taxes I’ll raise overall.”
“Oh, I’m sorry,” Bush corrected himself after listening briefly to his aide’s whispered comments, “that graph shows my campaign fundraising in relation to lower tax rates on the rich.”
“But no matter. I’m gonna keep lowering taxes like this,” Bush continued while drawing a rudimentary graph on his other hand, “which means I’ll collect more taxes than ever. And I’m not going to stop until there’s a negative tax rate, which means I’ll get even more money, and then, um, well, anyway – it’ll all work out, don’t you worry.”
When reminded that, despite his tax cuts, economic indicators were a long way from returning to pre-2000 election-year levels, the President’s mood turned dour.
“Ah, that’s an interesting point,” he replied while frantically looking for Karl Rove. “But I’m quite sure that’s the Democrats’ fault,” he sighed.
“That’s the most brilliant and well reasoned answer I’ve ever heard,” exclaimed Fox News anchor Britt Hume from the front row of the White House press room.
The President smiled. “Now if you’ll excuse me, there’s a Presidential pardon for Rush Limbaugh on my desk that I need to sign.”
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