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PROTESTERS QUIT PETA AFTER RUNNING OF THE BULLS
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PAMPLONA, SPAIN – Protesters with People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) showed up in Pamplona last month for the annual “Running of the Bulls” only to endure one of the worst spectacles in PETA history.
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An artist's rendering of the PETA protest
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The protesters leapt barricades and blocked the street, demanding a stop to the inhumane annual ritual of allowing extremely angry bulls to chase throngs of terrified humans through the narrow streets of Pamplona. The protest was cut short, however, when a group of ten or more inordinately pissed-off bulls charged the PETA protesters.
“Our leader told me the bulls would know we were vegetarians,” one surviving (now former) PETA protester told the Associated Press, “He said the bulls would like us.”
“The bulls were surprisingly angry,” squeaked the PETA leader, a eunuch after the melee, “I slipped trying to jump back over the barricade. I could see his eyes then. I think he aimed for my groin.”
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Moments before the resignation of one PETA Protester
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“The screams were horrible,” recalled the group’s former membership chair, now a fur trapper in Canada, “When I heard one of the members crying ‘please God kill the beast,’ I knew there were going to be some resignations.”
The only unhurt protester also resigned. “I pissed all over myself almost immediately when I saw the bulls,” he said. “The bulls were disgusted, which may have saved my life. But I just can’t go on living this way. Who knows how mean artic seals can be?” he added. “And this restaurant-style burger is incredible!”
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