   |
      |
|
|
|
REALITY SHOW TO DETERMINE NEW THIRD MEMBER OF AXIS OF EVIL
|
|
|
|
LOS ANGELES, CA – Riding a wave of success following the capture of Saddam Hussein, President Bush revealed today that his Administration has reached an agreement with Fox News whereby celebrity judges and viewers of a new Fox reality television show will determine which nation should replace Iraq and be named the new third member of the Axis of Evil.
“We have a great relationship with Fox News, even if they are almost creepily
 |
|
A chimpanzee-looking man, er, the President discusses the Axis of Evil
|
sycophantic toward us sometimes,” said White House Press Secretary Scott McClellan, explaining the Administration’s decision to contract with Fox. “And we can’t take the risk that some liberal at another network will turn the whole show into a therapy session.”
The as yet unnamed show is slated to run for at least fifteen episodes, with contestant nations being whittled down week by week until the winner is chosen during the last, two-hour show. Hollywood insiders say the list of contestant nations has not been finalized, but competition for the slots is reportedly brisk.
“Every nation is really working hard to highlight its own particular brand of evil,” a producer for Fox News told reporters. “There are a few clear poseurs, but, by and large, the promotional videos sent by each country are so evil its really going to be a tough decision.”
It is possible, if not likely, according to some sources, that the final list of contestants will include a number of nations not commonly thought of as evil. According to evil Fox Chairman Rupert Murdoch, “some nations may make it in just because they are neighbors with a really avowed evil nation. That opens up the exciting prospect that these nations will be invaded in the later weeks of the show,” Murdoch explained. “Obviously, nuclear nations will have an edge on the others, but it should be a ratings bonanza either way.”
The show will not judge evil based solely on military actions or crimes against humanity; other types of evil will also score points. For example, Tuvalu and Nauru, two tiny south pacific island nations known as havens for tax evaders, are said to have hired dozens of old Enron executives and Arthur Anderson accountants to draft new, even-more-evil tax laws. Whether this will impress judges or not is unknown, but Fox insiders say the two nations should be given points for at least trying to be evil.
The identity of the celebrity judges for the show has yet to be revealed, but speculation centers on Yassir Arafat, who has the advantage of being both evil and currently allowed to travel to the U.S., Scott Evil, the son of Dr. Evil who is perhaps turning out more evil than his father, and Lyle Lovett, who is thought to have sold his soul to the devil several years ago just to have had a shot at Julia Roberts.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
