STEWART RELYING ON PEOPLE SHE PAYS TO TESTIFY IN HER DEFENSE
NEW YORK – Martha Stewart's defense team began its counterattack on the prosecution's case today, calling an unbiased witness beyond repute – Stewart's friend and business manager, Heidi DeLuca.

DeLuca assured jurors that, although her job depended on Stewart's acquittal, her boss "really was 100% innocent."

"Even before I received my $300,000 'performance bonus,' I would've testified that Martha had an pre-existing agreement to sell her ImClone stock," DeLuca told the packed courtroom.  "But now I'm going to testify like I believe it."

DeLuca also undermined the government's case by claiming that her boss would never have broken the law for such a small amount.  "Martha was worth more than $500 million dollars.  Why would she risk everything for another hundred thousand?"

"She'd have to be an arrogant, conniving bitch who thought she was better than everybody else," DeLuca surmised.  "Like someone who'd start a K-Mart clothing line even though she wouldn't be caught dead shopping there.  Umm, well, never mind."

After moving to strike DeLuca's previous comment, defense attorneys promised jurors that DeLuca was merely the first of dozens of self-interested witnesses who would come forward to support Stewart's version of the facts.

"Who are you going to believe?" Stewart’s attorney Robert Morvillo asked the jury.  "Martha's closest friends and family, or the same government that told you Iraq had tons of weapons of mass destruction?"
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