WASHINGTON – President Bush's Cabinet meeting took an ugly turn yesterday when Commerce Secretary Donald Evans revealed that U.S. corporations have been outsourcing jobs to India, not Indiana as the President believed.

"Why didn't you tell me this before?" the President almost shouted.  "What the hell do I pay you people for?  You know I can't lead effectively without exact information."

"But sir," Evans protested.  "We've given you dozens of PDBs about losing hi-tech jobs to the Indians."

"Right!" the President thundered, slapping his hand on his knee in celebration of his coherent recollection.   "But since Indians live in Indiana, I can't see why their getting jobs is a major problem."

"Sir, Indians don't live in Indiana." Evans corrected, thinking it might be a good idea to start figuring out how to blame George Tenet for all this.  "At least not anymore they don't."

"Then where do Indians live?" the President wondered, clearly puzzled.

"Reservations!" exclaimed Vice President Dick Cheney, attending via teleconference from his secret and undisclosed location.

"No, no, no," Evans sighed.  "Indians live in India , the country of India."

"Hmmm," the President paused.

"You know," said Evans, "the large land mass south of China."

" Hmmm," the President paused again, fiddling with his pocket compass.

"Right here," Evans persisted, pointing to a large map.

"It's Texas!" the President cheered, flashing a relieved smile.  "Whew, that map really cleared things up.  Those other clues were hard though, Don."